1803192232GMT8

Halluuuu 2019 updates!!

I think this is finally the 'happy' update I'm gonna post after sooooo many many depressing posts hehehehehehehehe

After waiting for sooo long I'm finally graduating this year!! T^T
Yoooo 6 months more to go baby.
I actually made this far????

Also I started playing PUBG during season 3 and today is the last for season 5.
Hahahaha haila hailaaa.
PUBG ohhh PUBG.
I have quite an experience while playing this game. Hmm.
Not gonna talk about it tho.

Last year my second eldest brother got married this month.
This weekend my eldest brother is getting married T^T
(yo they still don't have emoji in blogspot tf that feels weird)
I dunno what to feel.
I thought my brother will not get married so when I heard that he was getting engaged to someone i was like whatttt?????
It was a big shock to me.
Happy for him tho.

I've been listening to Coldplay, Maroon 5 and Marshmello a lot lately.
Dunno why.

Also,

I'VE GAINED A  LOT OF WEIGHT!
HAHAHAHAHA

Budu amat. As if I wasn't heavy enough.

Haihh.

Oklah bye!!



p/s : 4 more months before I can stop taking my meds. I hope.

0804181551GMT8

Memang setahun sekali eh aku tulis blog LMAO.

Anyway I am now a fifth year student. Woohoo. A senior tapi still rasa bodoh :') Apa benda aku belajar selama ni tah. Tak tahu lah. Manusia takde vision macam ni tak patut hidup sebenarnya.

A lot of things have happened. Like how I decided to move out from our old house. It did help me feel a little better fortunately. I don't like to be reminded how super miserable I was last year. I'm glad I escaped. I wonder it would be like if I was still at the same place.

Although I feel like I will be miserable again, at least I'm miserable at some new place.

Last week, it was spur at the moment that I decided to go for some facial treatment. I had always been in denial by telling myself my skin is okay, I don't need any treatment. But it just gets looking at people having glass skin and look at you, gosh. I don't expect a perfect skin. Just a little better-looking skin.

I also decided to go for a jog everyday, just on a treadmill though. I hope, really hope it will help me physically and mentally.

Let's see when and what I will hear from myself again next time. Ciao.

2404172233GMT8

Greetings!

Cepatnya masa berlalu! Genap setahun from my last post (I think?). Hahaha!

Sooooo how am I now? Am I better than last year? :)))


NOPE


NOPE


NOPE


Who am I kidding?

I apologize to the past-me. I haven't changed at all. I am still that miserable little piece of shit.

If not, worse. (I even had suicidal thoughts haha)

I'm sorry, me :')


The only thing that has changed since before is the fact that I am now a fourth year student! I don't know how to feel about this. I mean, yeah, I am happy that I passed my papers last year. I also finally managed to get A for the last semester.

But my life is not getting better at all. I know I keep whining but - well, I hate myself for that too. I find myself being less happy each day, losing interest in whatever I used to have fun doing. Hmm. Maybe I need help. No, I really need help. I want some help. Honestly.

I am extremely exhausted with my own thoughts. With myself. I wanna run away from who I am. I need a break from everything.


UGH.